Friend: Let's go get food. Me: I can't I'm broke. Friend: I'll pay. Me:

Co-worker: Good morning! Me: Who hired this bitch?

VVhen it's been a week since your last mental breakdown. It's showtime.

If u can't handle the sass u can't handle the ass.

The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand? Captain Jack Sparrows.

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